If you’ve never ridden in a bus full of elementary school students, I highly recommend you hop aboard one. Everyone should face The Abyss at least once in life.
My 3rd grader conned me into chaperoning a field trip yesterday. With gas prices approaching unsecured loan status, I opted to take the bus.
Ho boy.
The noise level on an elementary school bus is roughly akin to the Superdome during a thrash metal concert. My nerves were jangling, my jaw was clenched, and once the singing began, my left eye began to twitch. It was going to be a loooooong day.
They began at the front of the bus. The littlest passengers started singing, “The wheels on the bus go round and round!…”
My day just got longer.
As my brain began to bleed several stanzas later, my battered ears detected a new sound. Quiet at first, it began picking up volume from the back of the bus. What’s that…? I started to experience a moment of panic as I recognized two things: The ever increasing volume of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, and the fact that MY kid was leading the chorus.
Panic set in as I felt disapproving looks from every chaperon on the bus. I looked across the way at my darling child, who was grinning at me from ear to ear. Joined by a host of her friends, she kept right on belting out the song.
“Ooooh-EE! Shut my mouth! Slap your Grandma…!”
Grandma, I swear I didn’t teach her that song.
Today's Musings 