Ahhhh Spring. The blooming flowers, the budding trees, the screams of raccoons getting lucky…
Not many sounds in nature are as painful to listen to (or experience, I’m sure) as the noise of raccoons mating. <Those who’ve lived in the country all nod their heads.> for those of you who haven’t, allow me to explain.
Raccoons SCREAM. They don’t make soft, soothing sounds like frogs do when they mate. They don’t chirrup like squirrels, or make a guttural purr like cats. They make an ungodly shriek that sounds like both of them are being filleted alive. It sends chills up your spine even if you KNOW what it is.
Raccoons are mean little beasties. They are not cute, nor are they cuddly, as their big pouffy tails would lead you to believe.
Have you ever watched Animal Planet and heard a jaguar scream? Pfffft! ‘Tis a kitty purring compared to the sound of horny raccoons!
Last night we had some getting busy on our front lawn. How delightful. Nothing says FUN like the sound of horrific screaming coming from pitch blackness just outside the window when hubby’s out of town.
I knew it was only mating coons…but I slept with one eye open just in case.
The evil chickens had something to do with it, I’m absolutely sure.
Okay, I spent way more time than I planned to reading your blog today, I just kept reading post after post. You definitely keep me entertained (read–I covet your talent).
As far as the horny racoons…I don’t live in an area that would allow me to hear that. I’ve never heard it and would probably panic and shoot something if I did.
ROTFLMAO @ Kemi! Yes, Yes!!
Kweenmama, thank you. What a neat compliment! 😀
Found this when I was researching the noises I heard last night…I suspected it was raccoons getting busy…and had my suspicions confirmed. Thank you for an amusing read! (Raccoons are evil…as are squirrels and deer.)
And chickens, dear Melanie. Don’t forget the evil chickens.
OK – my suspicions are confirmed!! Last night my family was scared awake by the worst “screaming” I’ve ever heard from any animal! We thought it was cats fighting as we live in town with just a tiny piece of woods across the street – but we all ran downstairs and opened the front door and it sounded *horrible* – it was such a scary sound and so loud! I had a feeling it was a raccoon but couldn’t understand why it would be screaming for it’s dear life! I’m thinking now it was either mating or maybe was feeling attacked by another animal? So, thanks for posting this!
Too funny. I died laughing. I just had a couple in my back yard on the detached garage making a racket. i had to yell at them 3 times, from behind my door incase they decided to come after me from stopping their joy. The scurried off. then I found your article. Since it is 1 a.m in the morning and I am wide awake, this was hilarious to read. I am staying up to make sure they don;t comeback and try to live in my attic or garage. Feeling your pain!
I to, have heard the ungodly aoynds of racoons, but I only heard one. It was screaming for an hour. My cats are terrified, im tired and they were screaming for deer life
I was awakened by she-devil screams at midnight last week. My wife started crying they sounded so awfull! We knew something was being killed in the woods. I shinned the light into the shaking branches only to see two eyes with a black mask across them. The screams were beyond description and would make your tongue curl backwards. Truly unbelievable.