For those of you not fortunate enough to have followed last year’s contest, a small word of explanation:
My family is weird. Just…odd. The immediate family, the extended family, on both sides and all branches of the family tree. Last year, in honor of Jesus’s birth, we decided to amass the ugliest Christmas sweaters the world has ever seen. (Don’t ask. I don’t know either.) With no rhyme nor reason, we showed up in all of our finery:
This year, we refined the rules into two categories. Embellished and Fugly Off the Rack. Because really, there’s homemade ugly and there’s why-in-the-name-of-all-that’s-holy-would-someone-manufacture-that? ugly. And this is where our categories separate.
Honestly, I don’t have all the photos in yet. (You know who you are!) But I’ll post what I have and add to the mix as they trail in.
———First up we have Fugly Off the Rack:—————-
Marvelous Marva (or “Mommy” to some of us) is modeling an untouched, Some-Kind-of-Blunderful frock that surely makes me want to weep. Shiny presents stick to her bosom and in case she ever wants to, oh, I don’t know…tie Santa up…?…she has ROPE stuck on there, too. Nicely played, Mumsay, nicely played.
Next, we have yours truly modeling a hot little number SO ugly, even a crappy picture does it justice. I found this little beauty in a secondhand store and have the resale tag still attached to prove it. HOW, I ask you, could someone have let this little baby go?
In our next category, we have sweaters for the artsy-craftsy folks who just can’t leave Ugly Enough alone. You have to admire their dedication and wonder just where these little gems will wind up when the season is over. Somewhere, there’s an old folks home about to get FANCY.
These three lovely ladies are a Mother-Daughter-Sister combination. I’d tell you exactly who’s related to who, but what fun would that be? And besides, I get so confused.
I’m loving the general state of fugliness those sweaters entail, but bonus bravo points for the head wear. Seriously.
To the left we have Din, sporting a festive pink number complete with a snappy head scarf that would make RuPaul proud. (You GO, girl!)
In the center, Marsha models her pom-pom Nutcracker army. (I will not take the cheap shot, I will not take…) It comes with a wreath trim which is just hideous enough to showcase below:
Love this contest. Wow, picking a winner was tough. They are all horribly fugly. Tried to imagine if I was being forced to have my pic done in one, which would be the worst. In the straight off the rack, while your Mom’s was beyond fugly w/ the rope, etc, I gotta give my vote to you for that “why the heck would any woman want a giant *ss bow on her boobs” look. Gotta give the homemade beyond tacky look to Hillary. Wow, that hurts the eyes. Can’t wait to see the rest of the pics.
Kelly, you win hands-down in the “fugly-off-the-rack” category. As for the embellished ones, eesh. Hard to pick… but I think Sugie said it best… tacky!! Hillary is the front-runner so far… we’ll have to see the rest to make an official ruling.
MARSHA!!!!!!! by a long shout that roadkill imean sweeter is butt UGLY! (‘.’)
My votes…Yours…and Hillary’s. Hands down!
Okay, so we tended to push the envelope on tacky, but I really thought we needed something in headwear! I have to agree with the crowd on your sweater. By far the ugliest in it’s original form. Of course my vote for best modified would go to Hillary, however please remember that not all of that talent was her own! Marsha and I helped with by encouraging her to go even tackier!
Yours definitely, and I’m going to have to go with Marsha’s for the other category. Hillary’s is definitely ugly, but it lacks that ridiculous, monotonous pattern so beloved by the fugly sweater designers.
This post made me laugh so hard!