Our dog speaks en Español

We’re an English-speaking household, but ever since the girls were toddlers I’ve tossed the odd word or phrase from my rusty Spanish class days into conversation as a simple teaching tool. It’s become such a habit over the years that our whole family does it without giving it much thought.

It seems the pets have been paying attention.

I discovered, quite by accident, that Dexter the dog knows a little Spanish. We didn’t actively teach him Spanish commands, he picked them up on his own. Not bad for a 6 month old pup, not bad at all.

The first time I noticed a little something was last week.  I was coming out of the bathroom and almost ran over Dexter, who was camped out across the doorway. “Perdóneme,” (pardon me) I said, and He-Who-Normally-Lies-There-Like-Royalty actually jumped up and moved out of my way.

Odd.

The next time I took note was a few days ago when we got ready to go to the store. The whole family had been outside awhile, playing with Dexter to get his wiggles out before we left. “¡Vámonos!” (let’s go) I called out, and Dexter made an immediate beeline for the van. It seems he wanted to go for a ride, too. 

Oookayyy…

And then last night my daughter offered Dex a treat to ‘speak’. Hoping for more than one, he kept barking. Forgetting herself, Tasha snapped “¡Cállate!” (something I usually yell at the TV as I hit the Mute button.)

Dexter went silent. 

This morning I decided to test him. After returning from our daily trip of taking the kids to the bus stop in the van, Dexter and I began our usual walk toward the house. Mid-stride I breezily commented, “Vámonos.” Dex did an about face and ran back to the van.

Smart doggie.  I wonder if he knows his huevos are coming off today.

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All around the cobbler’s bench the monkey chased the weasel…

Dexter the dog has learned a few new words. Sit, Speak and SNEAK. Ohhh yes, he has Sneak just about down pat.

Due to a condition called Incorrigible Puppyness, Dexter chews on everything. Puppy toys, rawhide, furniture, fingers. He doesn’t care, they’re all chew toys. We’re constantly tripping over half-chewed pig ears and rawhide strips, yet he’s left a permanent impression on our coat rack and kitchen cupboards. (sigh)

In an effort to preserve our furniture, dh won’t allow him in the whole house yet. He only has access to about half of it until he outgrows the chewing stage. Dexter is not happy with this arrangement, and so he sneaks.

ting-ting-ting!  I’ll hear the sound of his metal ID tag tinkling from the wrong direction. Look around, and there’s Dexter hiding under the coffee table. ting-ting-ting!  What…? Oh. There’s Dexter behind the recliner; looking pitiful because he knows he’s not supposed to be there.

Sometimes I’ll just get seated on the bathroom throne and hear ting-ting-ting!  from behind the door. Upon exit, I’ll usually find Dexter feigning innocence, laying on the kitchen floor. He’s allowed in the kitchen, but generally there’ll be some sort of contraband half-hidden beneath his body that came from an off-limits room.

Reminds me of Gollum in Return of the King. Sam: “What are you doing, then?” Gollum: “Sneeeeaking!” 

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Larry the Cable Guy could be my undoing.

This man could ruin my carpets.

We taught Dexter the dog a bathroom command so when we take him places, he’ll know where he can and cannot use the facilities. The dog training websites I consulted suggested “potty” or “pee-pee” as a command word, but let’s get real. He’s getting bigger, and I CANNOT say “pee-pee” to a 100 lb. dog with a straight face.

Instead, at my daughter’s suggestion, we taught him the command phrase, 

“Git ‘R Done.”

Last night she and I were walking Dexter before bed. On the way to his crappin’ spot, I accidentally said “Git R Done” to Tasha just in conversation. The dog instantly stopped and peed right there.

If we ever rent a Blue Collar video, our carpets are screwed.

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