Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Kelly Trainor, tagged MIA on July 28, 2009| 4 Comments »
I’ve been inexcusably MIA. Not just here, either. I’ve been pretty much absent from the internet. Since I spend all day working on the computer, that’s really saying something! Working a lot of hours + a trip from MI to SD, and you have a tired little blogger. I’ll try to do mo’betta soon. In the meantime, Big Howdy to all my peeps!
The Thinker
I’m trying to think of a good post. Really, I am!
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Michigan Life, Pets, tagged Sick Dog on June 4, 2009| 6 Comments »
On the carpet. Hunched over, looking green and ready to do that thing that dogs do. On the carpet. On. The. CARPET!
Survival Mode!
I sprinted to the front door in my jammies calling, “DexterDexterDEXTER..!” in a blind panic, tripping on a toy, stubbing my toe on a door frame and mowing over the cat along the way.
But we MADE IT. All manner of awfulness occurred outside. Can I get an Amen?
Why do sick dogs aim for the carpet?
Why do dogs chew up their toys and gag on small pieces?
Why do bloggers disappear into oblivion for a month and then announce their return with stories of Dog Yutz?
I cannot explain these things. But. I’ve gotten a TON of work finished in the past few weeks, so now I get to play on my blogs again. Yaaaayyyy!
Missed ya.
Posted in Blogging, Favorite Peeps, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Michigan Life, tagged Friendship, Mom2three, Razz, Roast on February 11, 2009| 12 Comments »
Way back in November when I turned the-age-that-shall-not-be-mentioned, (Just kidding. I’ll mention it. I’m 39.9), I requested to be teased mercilessly about my impending birthday for a shot at blog post fame. I have to say you folks came through, and Mom2three, blogless heifer that she is, made me laugh the hardest with:
Kelly is so old, she watched “Good Morning, America” when it was called “Good Morning, Neanderthals.”
Kelly is so old, her high school mascot was a locust.
I admit it. I peed a little. Thank goodness they were both hers or I would have declared two winners.
Now, M23 requested a small roast, (foolish woman), and I’ve been lying in wait until I was sure she’d forgotten all about it. I do believe it’s time. And so today I bring you The Official Mini-Roast of Mom2three.
M23’s real name is Megan. It’s not MAY-gen like every normal baby book name, it’s MEE-gen. Now MEE-gen hangs her hat in the South, and as most of you know I’m from Michigan. Her pronunciation of her name has a whole different ring to my Northern ears. On the phone, MEE-gen sounds like MAY-gen to me.
“Ha! This is MAY-gen!” “May-gen who?” “Not MAY-gen, MAY-GEN! Mom2thray! From on-lahn!” “Mom to who?” “Thray! It’s may!” “I’m sorry, but we’re happy with our phone service.” “I don’t wanna sale you anythang you big dope, it’s may, MAY-gen!”
(Note that the insult was the only thing I understood. This may very well be what brought about the war between the North and South.)
MEEgan with an EE and I have been friends online for some time. How much time, I really cannot say. I’d ask her, but I’d never understand her response.
I’m just saying.
Why look…here is our lovely Mom2three now!
Ok, so maybe that’s not her now, but wasn’t she cute in high school?
Back off gents, she’s married. She still looks good, too. At F-O-R-T-Y! (Did I just say that? Out loud? You didn’t hear it though, right? Don’t tell her I told you. She’s still got that beatin’ stick, I just know it.)
And honest, she doesn’t look the age-that-shall-never-be-named.
Really–she hasn’t aged a day.
See?
Luh ewe, heifer. 
*runs like hell!*
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Kids, Parenthood, tagged Household chores, Rocky on November 18, 2008| 7 Comments »
Before you read this post, you must (MUST, I say!) play the audio. To get the full effect of this post, you must be ready to ingest a dozen raw eggs and punch hanging meat. Or at least scramble an egg and chew bacon with your mouth open.
Are you ready?
Whilst absent from the blogging universe for the last several days, I have SINGLE HANDEDLY finished the bulk of a huge work project that was hanging over my head like a guillotine, caught up on laundry right down to the critter bedding AND had a brand spanking new baby niece. (Not that I had anything to do with the birth, mind you, but I’m feeling so good at the moment, I think I’ll take credit anyway. Thank you veddy much!)
Since I have no theme for this blog post save sheer relief, I bring you some smiles from home:
…As I pulled up the Rocky clip on YouTube, my 13 year old put her hands on her hips and said, “Yes. THAT’S the sound you hear when I walk into a room!” Crying shame that kid has no self-esteem.
…Our 9 year old answered a Math question in class today. Her teacher asked her to explain how she’d come to that conclusion. Em’s answer? “It’s just common sense, Mrs. A.” I love that girl!
…And how have YOU been?
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Kids, Marriage, Parenthood, tagged Prayer, Prayer Request on October 22, 2008| 28 Comments »
Found on BasicJokes.com: “I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail. Amen.” -Author Unknown
Everywhere I look, people are skeert. I see somber folks with worry lines on their faces and a nervousness that wasn’t there before. They’re worried about jobs, money, medical bills. They have fears about what the future holds and are unnerved by the uncertainty of it all.
That’s no way to be. The battle’s already been won.
Prayer is our most powerful weapon, and I say we use it. Don’t know who to vote for? Pray on it. Don’t know how you’ll make the house payment? Pray about it. Got health problems? You know the drill. The thing is, you can’t demand what you want and expect it to arrive wrapped in silver paper topped with a big red bow. Maybe the thing that you want isn’t what God has in mind for you. Ask, and expect answers. But understand that the answer might not be as you imagined.
Pray for your family, your country and yourself. Pray for strangers and folks you don’t even like. And if you need prayers, ask others to pray for you, too. You can even do it right here, in the Comments section. If your request is too personal to share with a bunch of strangers, just leave an ‘Unspoken’ prayer request. Folks can still pray on your behalf–God knows what’s what.
Don’t be shy; I intend to ask for some prayers m’self. ;0)
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Now then–for the folks whose teeth I just set on edge: If you don’t believe in God as I do, that’s your prerogative. Refrain from trying to convert me, please–use your own blog for your views. But I will ask you to entertain one last thought before you go.
If you’re right, prayer won’t hurt anything–it’ll make no difference. But if I’m right, it can make all the difference in the world. Is there something you really, really need?
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Pets, tagged James Coco on October 1, 2008| 12 Comments »
No, not a Dom DeLuise-looking James Coco who says, “I’m not a Frenchie…I’m a Belgie!” (And double bonus brownie points if you can tell me what movie that’s from…)
Nope, this Frenchie would be Laura from Mama’s Nut House. Heifer’s been on me about not posting often enough. lol! Thank you Frenchie, sometimes I need a good cattle prodding, so this blog’s juuuust for you!
Top 5 Things I Have Learned From Animals Not exactly a catchy title, but I’m under pressure. Get off me.
5. Chickens are diabolical. In all of bird-dom, each and every species instinctively knows to keep the nest clean. Chickens crap in their nests. In great gobs. You might think they’re simply that stupid, but you’d be wrong. No, this is their unspoken protest against The Man. (The Wo-Man in this case.) You want to filch our eggs, you baby-stealer? Well you go right ahead, but you’ll have to WADE THOUGH SHIT to do it! Go ahead! Brush your fingers against a steaming pile, you baby-eating Monster!
4. A cat is the only creature that can convince you to pet it while holding you in complete contempt. Cats don’t like people. Cats don’t even like other cats. But they’ll sucker you into petting them just the same. Thaaaat’s right. Under the chin, human. Under the chin. And don’t you forget my Friskies treats, either or I’ll claw your shower curtain into confetti.
3. Frogs are afraid of heights. Pick one up, it’ll pee on your hand. Guaranteed.
2. Snakes could teach David Blaine a thing or two. Geraldine was 4 foot long and as big around as a 50 cent piece. She disappeared from a hole roughly the diameter of a pencil. I was horrified to have lost Dh’s pet, but impressed by her contortions nonetheless.
1. Fish have personalities. Don’t believe me? Get a big one. When you can see their faces up-close and personal, you can tell. We raised oscars that loved to be petted. Had one that would jump out of the water for food like Shamu. Currently, we have a Pacu who smiles when you feed him. Think about that the next time you chew on a lemon-soaked fillet.
Double Bonus Brownie Points. Could be yours! WITHOUT The Google, in what movie did James Coco make the claim, “I’m not a Frenchie, I’m a Belgie!” <Cue Jeopardy theme music>
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Michigan Life, Pets, tagged Contest, Free, Free Stuff on July 26, 2008| 8 Comments »
Ugly gifs need love, too.
I’d like to thank all of you blog readers for helping out with our Name the Winged Rat contest! The entries were awesome (and way too funny, might I add!)
It was too hard for me to narrow down just 3 for my kids to choose from, so frankly I hung it up and let them choose from all the entries. (In light of the winnah, this is a good thing.)
Yeah, I changed the rules. So sue me.
Anyhow, the kids had a glorious time choosing, and though they wavered between a few funny names, they finally came to an agreement. Hallelujah!
And the winnah is…
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Are you still reading?
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Bet you’d like me to tell you, huh.
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I’ve known the winner for HOURS, too!
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Oh allll riiiiiight. The winner and residing champion is Dusty, with her entry Count Batula! WoooWooo!
To see more of Dusty’s fine work, visit her blogs From My Front Porch and Giftedly Outspoken. Do it! Do it, I say! I promise you’ll get a good read.
Dusty, congratulations on your winning entry. The Count and I both thank you for your selfless dedication to the naming of the wild Munchinsectus Suckbloodus species. Look for your blogroll bump and an upcoming schmooze blog entry just for you! In addition, (oh the excitement builds!), don’t forget your $1.99 Michigan Mosquito Magnet will be on its way! Your refrigerator need never go nekkid again!
Side Note: Some of you know that Dus and I have been online friends for a long time. I’m glad my kids chose the winner, because the contest was definately NOT rigged! In fact, the kids struggled with narrowing down their favorites, and spent time agonizing between the winning Count Batula, Shadow and Beauregard, the Emperor of Doom.
Thank you all for the excellent entries!
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Michigan Life, Pets, tagged Bat, Contest, Free, Free Stuff, Name on July 25, 2008| 2 Comments »
Name me...name me NOW!
Can you just feel the air crackle with excitement?
That’s right, TODAY is the last day to enter our Name That Winged Rat Contest! Oh the competition is fierce and the prizes plentiful! You could get a blogroll bump, your very own post where I won’t make fun of you even once –ok, maybe just a little bit– or a lot. If I know you well enough I might make fun a lot– AND a brand new, never-been-stuck-to-a-refrigerator Michigan Mosquito Magnet! (That’s MMM good, doncha know!)
Oh yes, these fabulous prizes await the one person who can create a moniker worthy of our new yard bat! (Who has since brought friends, might I add. Say buh-bye to mosquitoes, baby!)
The contest ends at midnight EST. You can submit up to 3 names, so get crackin’! YES! Oh Yes! I want to submit my free entries for a shot at fabulous prizes and good natured public ridicule!
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Michigan Life, tagged Contest, Free, Free Stuff on July 23, 2008| 9 Comments »
As all of the blogosphere surely knows, we’re in the throes of the Name That Winged Rat Contest. For the shot at a nifty Refrigerator Magnet (Retail value: $1.99!), and a chance for fleeting Blog Stardom, the contestants will attempt to name the bat living at my house. (I believe the scientific name is “Munchinsectus Suckbloodus”, but that’s a bit too long to use.
Oh the competition is fierce out there, yessiree! In no particular order I bring you the entries so far:
Kemi, with her snazzy submissions, “Biff”, “Shadow” and “Robin” *snort!*
MJ jumps into the fray with “Bruce Wayne,” “Paul” and “Rhonda.” (I think there’s a story here she’s not telling.)
Kweenmama adds flavor with “Ralph” (Her Grandfather. He’d be so pleased to have rodentry named in his honor.) “Fledermaus” (She claims it’s “bat” in German, but I don’t speak German. For all I know she just called me “Lunatic with Keyboard.”) Oh yes, and “Bartholemew.” (Kween is presumably unaware that TWO of my sisters were slated to become Bartholemew had they been boys. Thank goodness they were born without wangers, that’s all I can say!)
Colby adds her gothic sumbishion submission “Beauregard, Emperor of Doom” to the mix. She seems awfully confident adding only one name!
Sugie (who is linkless, but I love her anyway) offers up “Baseball” (give it a sec–it’ll kick in.)
Catherine thinks her “Ugly Flying Rodent” could not be in the running. Ohhh but it is!
Carolle (aka Gem) tosses in “Boy” (As in, Bat…Boy. da-da-DA! chhhhh!) Love it!
Meg (wicked sense of humor on that girl)throws “Whilamina” into the running because she and I belong to the same MSN Group and she knows I try to name all the girl babies (and a few of the boys) the same thing. Using Insider Information…she cheats like that. (Pssst…Meg! I spell it “Wilhelmena.” Are you trying to show me up?)
As you can see, the competition is neck in neck, but the contest is still on! To read the official rules or submit up to 3 bat-names, go here…and hurry –the contest ends Friday!
Posted in Blogging, Kelly Trainor, tagged "like chemistry", Best Blogs, Blogroll, Colby, Favorite Blogs, From my Front Porch, Internet Surfing, Joy Erickson, Kemi, Kweenmama's Kastle, MJ, Note to Self, Spittin (out words) Like a Llama, Vicky Martin on July 13, 2008| 12 Comments »
Lookie over yonda. —>
My Favorite Peeps section is a small sampling of–well–my favorite blog peeps. MJ at Note to Self is also running a promotional contest. If you’re so inclined, leave her a note saying Today’s Musings sent ya. If you’re not so inclined, then don’t. heehee! Seriously, these are my favorite blogs to date, and all are worth reading. If you’re bored today, go take a peek!
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Kids, Marriage, Michigan Life, Parenthood, Pets, tagged Funny Kid Sayings, Random Weirdness on June 25, 2008| 4 Comments »
We have a dirt track in our front yard. (Yes, I know. I have totally given up on grass.) With all this rain we’ve been getting, my daughters went mud bogging on their quads and returned home COVERED in thick mud. So badly, in fact, that I made them leave their filthy riding gear just inside the front door and go straight to the shower. The next day they washed their quads and made them all clean and shiny. Once dry, Ems (9) put hers carefully away. Tasha (13) promptly announced she was going riding.
Exactly.
It seems that her Dad promised to take the girls on the public trails this weekend. “Mom I have to get it dirty–I can’t go with a clean machine or other riders will think I’m a NEWB!”
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Our cat has figured out how to get into the chicken pen. Any normal family with a normal cat might be concerned about the safety of the birds. But this is no normal family!
He scaled the wooden doorway and dropped down into the pen to find himself surrounded by a flock of inquisitive poultry all larger than him. Immediately, the big wuss hit the fence and began yowling for help. (Our cat is such a pussy.)
Hmmm…why do I get an odd sense of deja vu? 
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This morning the phone rang and our 9 year old answered it. Then I heard her say, “Mr. or Mrs.?” “I’m sorry–did you say Mr. or Mrs.? Oh, he’s not home right now. Can I take a message?”
Our phone is in hubby’s business name, and we constantly get solicitations. Knowing this, I explained to my daughter that the caller was probably not from Michigan, and possibly not from the US–which is why she had a hard time understanding the accent. Ems replied,
“No Mom–she was just real quiet. She didn’t have an accent, she spoke Michi-geez.”
Posted in Blogging, Kelly Trainor, tagged Meme on June 18, 2008| 5 Comments »
Tagged by StreetPreacher! 🙂
A-ATTACHED OR SINGLE? Way Attached. I’ve been married almost 19 years.
B-BEST FRIEND? DH–hands down.
C-CAKE or PIE? Cake. Seriously? Is this a question? BOTH! I’m not real big on frosting, but I love cake. And pie is one of God’s gifts provided it’s not pumpkin, lemon, key lime or pecan.
D-DAY of CHOICE? Whatever day Dh gets home from work. (OTR truck driver)
E-ESSENTIAL ITEMS? Bible, Trusty puter, Car
F-FAVORITE COLOR? Plaid
G-GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS? ICK! No gummies for my tummies.
H-HOMETOWN? You mean originally? Who knows–moved a lot as a kid.
I-INDULGENCE? Frozen Cokes and vanilla ice cream. (Not together.)
J-JANUARY OR JULY? July, by January I’m tired of the snow.
K-KIDS? 2 beautiful girls. I’m truly blessed. Ditto! 🙂
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, tagged Charm, Charming Men on June 16, 2008| 5 Comments »
After reading some randomness over at DisIsMyPlace, I’m inspired to do some introspective stream-of-consciousness blogging m’self. Thanks, Betme!
We spent yesterday at a family reunion of sorts with dh’s side of the gene pool. Caught up with lots of folks and met a few new ones, including a whole family whose graduation party about 15 of us crashed. (Don’t ask. I don’t know anyway, and I swear tequila was NOT involved this time.) The hostess kept throwing food at us, so I guess it’s all good.
Anyway.
One of the outlaws we hung with yesterday was dh’s uncle Chas. 
He lives across the country and we seldom get to see him. I absolutely adore the man and always have. I’m not an overly affectionate person, yet I just want to hug him like Hugo the Snowman from the old Bugs Bunny cartoon. (“I will name him George and I will hug him and squeeze him and pat him on the head…”) After all these years I think I finally know why.
He’s charming.
I’m a sucker for charm. Give me a charming man with a good sense of humor and I’m hooked. (Not that I’m hooked on dh’s uncle. That would be creepy and illegal in every state but Arkansas.) My own dh is the most charming person I know. (Except on the rare occasion when he’s being an ass, but even men need to PMS once in awhile.)
Charm. Humor. Those two qualities hook me in way beyond looks. I am mesmerized by Sam Elliott, who is 
old enough to be my Grandfather, and Tim Curry whom I suspect is gay. Michael J Fox had the same thing going on back in the day. They’re all average looking men with enough of that Humor/Charm thing going on to knock me right out of my socks. Unlike Colby’s fixation on Matt Damon, I don’t want to schtoop any of them, just hug them until their eyeballs pop out.
Is that so wrong?
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, tagged Frank Sinatra, High Hopes on June 2, 2008| 7 Comments »
You’re singing along, aren’t you.
If you’re singing out loud, you either have very small children or you need someone to talk to. (This could be because you have small children, btw.) If you’re singing in your head, then congratulations. You are a normal, semi well-adjusted human being. And you will spend the rest of the day humming that song because I deem it so. Muahahahahahaha!
Cause he’s got- Hiiii-iiGH HOPES! He’s got–Hiiii-iiGH HOPES–he’s got…!
I know, I know. You think you’ll never forgive me. But really–you’ll be so busy singing that damn song you’ll forget why you were mad at me in the first place. Especially if you live with the aforementioned small children who pick up on the tune and proceed to sing it loudly, 482 times in a row.
And why do I bestow the Rubber Tree Plant Hex on you today?
Because I can.
<Runs out of her own blog, laughing hysterically.>
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor on May 16, 2008| 3 Comments »
Hidey Ho, People! Gosh I’ve missed you! 🙂 Thank you to everyone who sent condolences and well wishes for the passing of my stepsister. It was very kind. If you can spare a prayer for my stepdad (Tim) I’d appreciate it. This has been very hard on him.
Now on to other subjects…
The past week I’ve gotten so far behind that I think I’m circling around and viewing the front backwards. Make sense? I didn’t think so, either. All I know is I have stacks of papers to wade through, 3 major deadlines in the next 5 days, a sleeping child coughing so hard she threw up last night and oh yeah–I forgot payroll taxes were due yesterday.
Oy.
But somehow, some way it’ll all work out. Always does. (Thanks, God! If I had to do all this myself I’d be a mess!) Btw, yesterday was interesting.
Allergies have never been an issue around here, but as I creep into the abyss that is 40, certain things have changed. Including, apparently, my reaction to pollen. As our trees bud out and white fluff floats through the air, I’ve begun waking up most days with sinus pressure. If you have allergies, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, imagine a lumberjack’s axe buried in your face.
There ya go.
I don’t like medications as a rule–not even OTC stuff. But I do keep Benadryl on hand for the occasional kid with a bee sting or case of hives. Benadryl makes my children hyper, so I never take the stuff. I really hate that jumping-out-of-your-skin feeling, don’t you? Still, I was in misery, and misery trumps judgement every once in awhile.
I discovered something about the magic elixir that is Benadryl. Benadryl makes grown ups into the WALKING DEAD. Within 15 minutes my eyelids drooped down to my knees. I had circles around them like a panda. I fell asleep sitting straight up in my computer chair. At least, I think so. That’s what I presumed when I woke up with my head on the keyboard with the Cap Lock key up my nose.
What do they put IN that stuff? Do the makers of Sominex know?
I have no ending for this post. None. Nunca, Nada, coming up short. I’ll just say again that I’m glad to be back. See ya tomorrow.
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Kids, tagged Diarrhea on May 6, 2008| 1 Comment »
I’ve promised not to embarrass my kids or my spouse too awful much on the internet. I try to stick to that credo, because someday my children may pick out my nursing home and I like to get laid on occasion. That said, IF I had a child with a raging case of diarrhea, I certainly wouldn’t poke fun of such a thing on this blog.
If such an occurrence took place at our house, said child probably wouldn’t have any patience for the GIGO factor. Remember GIGO? ‘Garbage In, Garbage Out.’ Works in all sorts of applications, from diesel engines to a bad case of the Plotz. In THIS case, (if there indeed was such a case), it would refer to the child who disdains normal breakfast food. On such a hypothetical morning, a Mom COULD be fending off a child’s pleading requests for tacos with hot sauce and leftover pizza.
(I can’t face those things before 9am on a good day. On a day a person has The Crud? ewwww.)
“You need to eat rice, Dear. Dry toast. Crackers, if you want, or applesauce. I’ll pick up some bananas later.”
At least, I think that’s what such a Mom would say.
Posted in Blogging, Humor, Kelly Trainor, tagged Blog Traffic, Colby Marshall, Search Terms on April 30, 2008| 5 Comments »
I take no credit for the theme of this post. Colby over at Spittin’ (out words) Like a Llama did it first. If you haven’t seen her blog, go read. And don’t stop at that post, poke around. You won’t be disappointed, that girl is a Must Blogroll.
For the Conspiracy Theorists: No, Colby is not my sister, evil twin, paid sponsor or someone I owe money to. She’s just spit-coffee-out-your-nose-funny and I’m glad I stumbled across her blog.
On to the post!
Have you ever eyeballed the search terms that bring people to your blog? Some of them make sense to me, such as “Reasons not to have a trampoline” or “Chickens for pets.” Not that it makes ANY kind of sense to have chickens for pets, mind you, but in light of my chicken posts of late, I can certainly see why it would bring someone here. Other terms, however….eesh. For your viewing pleasure, I bring you honest-to-goodness search terms that brought people to this blog:
“Hairy Ass Old Ladies” I kid you not. Popped up on my screen this morning. Now first off, why anyone would WANT to search the internet for hairy ass old ladies is beyond me. If it was you, you’re a strange and disturbed person. Get out of my blog.
“Boob hairs” Ummm…yeah. I get the connection, as I posted about the neighbor cat’s hairy grown up nursing nipples; but I’m wondering what would prompt such a search in the first place. I guess this could be a legitimate medical question. At least, I’d like to think so. (I’m really, really hoping there are no boob hair fetishists looking for love on my blog.) P.S. If it is a legitimate question, seriously–buy tweezers.
…And that brings me to UAO. UAO is my other blog, and you can imagine some of the search terms that bring people there. <shudder> For those who don’t know, it’s a blog devoted to Common Sense, and the whole thing is decorated in donkeys. When I named it, it was tongue-in-cheek humor regarding the term Ugly Ass American, since most of the time it’s American Stupidity that I point out.
However–beyond the freaky search terms (no worries, I’m not planning to share) there are some gems as well:
“Ugly ass people”, “Ugly ass fish” (fish?), “Ugly ass car…animals…clothes… you name it. If you can throw the words “Ugly Ass” in front of it, I’ve seen it in search terms. (Back to the Conspiracy Theorists–no I’m not trying to boost my ugly ass rankings. A: My blogs are not monetized, they’re for me. And B: You’ll note this is the wrong blog. lol!)
“Human testicles for sale” ROTFLMAO! Where do I start? Ok, I confess I did a post about Truck Ballz, which are mini replicas of bull balls that some cattle hauler trucks hang on their trailers. But human testicles? For SALE? I just don’t think I even wanna know.
“Hemorrhoid donuts” True, I did mention the term once. But the post was about Guard Rail so why in all of the internet that one fly-by mention brought that person to MY blog, I have no idea.
Have you looked at your search terms lately? Seriously, go take a peek. Even if you’re like me and couldn’t care less about keywords, rankings and all that other happy crap—just go look. You may be surprised by what brings visitors to your door!
Posted in Animals, Blogging, Family Life, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Kids, tagged Chaos in the Country, Giftedly Outspoken, Purple Colored Glasses, Street Preacher, tag, WAHM Reviews, Work at Home Mom to 5 on April 24, 2008| 10 Comments »
Colby over at Spittin’ (out words) Like a Llama ran into one of my posts, shouted, “TAG, fool!” and ran back out again, the sneaky heifer. Guess that means I’m ‘it!’
Here are the rules: 1) Link back to the person who tagged you (that= me!). 2) Post the rules on your blog. 3) Write six things about yourself. 4) Tag six people at the end of your post by posting links to their blog sites. 5) Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their site. 6) And let your tagger know when your entry is up.
I’m not a ‘rules’ kinda gal, but I promise I’ll try to be good. No really, I will. 
It might be nice for a change.
#1 I have live poultry in my bedroom. Yes I do. It’s not a kinky sex thing, either. If you’re into that sort of thing and no fowl were fouled in the making of your video, good for you. Please don’t tell me about it, I don’t want to know. But if you’d like to know why I have creepy baby chickens in my bedroom, you can read about it here. Oh yeah, and here too.
Posted in Blogging, Family Life, Humor, tagged husband, love, spouse on March 6, 2008| 1 Comment »
My husband teases me about my stubbornness mild resistance to change. I like things cozy, comfy and without messy surprises. (Why I consented to children, I’ll never know–although I’m certainly glad he talked me into them!)
A running joke in our household is that Mom is always happy with #3. If we go to a fast food joint, I order a #3. Doesn’t matter if they’re serving breakfast or lunch, I still want a #3. (They serve greased cardboard–like it matters which version you get?) It’s not that 3 is my lucky number, it’s just a commentary about my boring steadfast nature. So yes, I guess I’m happy with my #3s.
Today my dh said something endearing, and I grinned and told him I love him. He shot back, “Of course you do…I’m #3.” I chuckled, but then did a double take. Thinking back to the times I’ve been in love in my life, for the first time in 21 years I realized…
He IS number 3! 😀
Posted in Blogging, Humor, tagged Confusion, Help on February 21, 2008| Leave a Comment »
This techno-dweeb is sooooo overwhelmed! I’m new on the blogging front, and this stuff is as confusing as my kid’s advanced algebra! At least with the math homework I can usually reason out the correct answer. This stuff…? YOWSA. For the past 3 days I’ve been scouring the forums and FAQs until my eyes cross. I’m getting it…slooooowwwwly.
I know I’ll figure it all out eventually. After all, I recall sheepishly calling a computer repairman once upon a time to ask how to shut down my computer since it only had a Start button. (Oh yes. I did!) Now I type 85wpm and do Custom Writing and Design for a living! (But all in all, I think I’d have an easier time with the algebra!)
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Does THIS look cuddly to you?
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Today's Musings 
