Way back in November when I turned the-age-that-shall-not-be-mentioned, (Just kidding. I’ll mention it. I’m 39.9), I requested to be teased mercilessly about my impending birthday for a shot at blog post fame. I have to say you folks came through, and Mom2three, blogless heifer that she is, made me laugh the hardest with:
Kelly is so old, she watched “Good Morning, America” when it was called “Good Morning, Neanderthals.”
Kelly is so old, her high school mascot was a locust.
I admit it. I peed a little. Thank goodness they were both hers or I would have declared two winners.
Now, M23 requested a small roast, (foolish woman), and I’ve been lying in wait until I was sure she’d forgotten all about it. I do believe it’s time. And so today I bring you The Official Mini-Roast of Mom2three.
M23’s real name is Megan. It’s not MAY-gen like every normal baby book name, it’s MEE-gen. Now MEE-gen hangs her hat in the South, and as most of you know I’m from Michigan. Her pronunciation of her name has a whole different ring to my Northern ears. On the phone, MEE-gen sounds like MAY-gen to me.
“Ha! This is MAY-gen!” “May-gen who?” “Not MAY-gen, MAY-GEN! Mom2thray! From on-lahn!” “Mom to who?” “Thray! It’s may!” “I’m sorry, but we’re happy with our phone service.” “I don’t wanna sale you anythang you big dope, it’s may, MAY-gen!”
(Note that the insult was the only thing I understood. This may very well be what brought about the war between the North and South.)
MEEgan with an EE and I have been friends online for some time. How much time, I really cannot say. I’d ask her, but I’d never understand her response.
I’m just saying.
Why look…here is our lovely Mom2three now!
Ok, so maybe that’s not her now, but wasn’t she cute in high school?
Back off gents, she’s married. She still looks good, too. At F-O-R-T-Y! (Did I just say that? Out loud? You didn’t hear it though, right? Don’t tell her I told you. She’s still got that beatin’ stick, I just know it.)
And honest, she doesn’t look the age-that-shall-never-be-named.
Really–she hasn’t aged a day.
Luh ewe, heifer. *runs like hell!*
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