Are you ready? This could be good.
My 40th birthday is tomorrow. That’s four-O. As in four decades. Middle age. Older than dirt. Since I refuse to celebrate a traditional 40th birthday, <cringe!> my family was kind enough to throw me a 39.9th birthday a few days ago. Aren’t they sweet?
However. I cannot let the occasion pass without some nod in its general direction, and so here is what I propose we do. (I say ‘we’ but I’m really putting this one on you, dear readers.) I want you to come up with the best 40th birthday razzies you can possibly throw in my direction. The more, the merrier. Have no fear of hurting my widdle bitty feewings, I have thick (and very old) skin.
Kelly is SO old she was Hugh Hefner’s first date.
Kelly knows how the dinosaurs died out.
Kelly makes Joan Rivers look young again.
Whoever makes me laugh the hardest will get a special blog post just for them. (No, I won’t razz you unless that’s what you request.)
Comments, poems, old fogey haiku, links to videos or pictures are also welcome. Get creative and have some fun with it. C’mon people. Bring on the old folk jokes!
First, huh? It seems so cruel… and yet, you asked for it.
Kelly is so old, even Chuck Norris is impressed.
HeeHeeHee! Keep ’em coming! :0)
Oh man, I love this idea.
Kelly is so old she rode a woolly mammoth to John McCain’s fifth birthday party. (I had to get one more joke in there!)
Kelly is so old that when he was creating the earth, God asked her whether she thought it should be mostly blue or mostly green.
Heeheee…you’re fun š
Heee!
C’mon folks! It is officially Older Than Dirt Day! Let’s hear ’em! š
Kelly Trainor is sooooo old, she dated her mentor Chef Boyardee!!!
Kelly is so old, she watched “Good Morning, America” when it was called “Good Morning, Neanderthals.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhh Mom2three takes the lead with the Neanderthal joke…
Kelly is so old, her high school mascot was a locust.
Sharky’s so old she swims in a tank of metamucil.
Sharky’s so old she was at Methuselah’s briss.
Kelly’s so old, her first language is hieroglyphics.
Sharky’s so old she knew what Stonehenge was built for.
Sharky’s so old she went to pee an hour ago and ain ‘t back yet!
Kelly is so old, her first pet was an amoeba.
Sharky’s so old she IS the ancient Chinese secret.
Shark’s so old dirt sends her a birthday card.
Sharky and Cleopatra had a catfight once.
Man. Sharky really kicked her asp.
Kelly’s so old that Adam called, he wants his rib back!
Happy Birthday!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! These are great! š
Sharky’s so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
Sharky’s so old, she’s got hieroglyphics on her driver’s license.
Sharky’s so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Shark’s so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Kelly’s sooooo old….. she farts…dust!!!
Kelly’s soooo old… her boobs squirt powdered milk!!
She’s so old she sat on her rocking chair having forgot her false teeth were there and bit herself in the butt
Well it was a tough decision, but Mom2three takes the lead. Two of hers made me laugh the hardest. (So glad they were both hers, because I’d never be able to choose between them.)
Kelly is so old, she watched āGood Morning, Americaā when it was called āGood Morning, Neanderthals.ā
Kelly is so old, her high school mascot was a locust.
BAhahahahahahahaha!!!
Thanks to all who made my day by poking fun at my age. What’s 40 without some good natured old people jokes? M23, look for your upcoming post. You challenge me since you don’t have a blog to send folks to. (HINT, HINT!) Now the question is…do you want a nice post, a funny post, or a roast post? Do tell!
Hee hee hee heeeee!!! What an honor. If you haven’t guessed, those two jokes were my own creation showcasing my writing talent (LMAO!) and that is why I don’t have a blog!!! I wouldn’t even know how to start one and I can’t imagine anyone giving a sweet rat’s behind.
As for my prize, NO NICE!! I want funny/roast.
I ate some funny roast once. It wasn’t pretty.
I missed out on the old-fart jokes, so I will just say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
A roast it is, M23. A roast it is. š
Thanks Kween! ;0)
[…] the-age-that-shall-not-be-mentioned, (Just kidding. I’ll mention it. I’m 39.9), I requested to be teased mercilessly about my impending birthday for a shot at blog post fame. I have to say you folks came […]