Seriously, I’ve figured it out. By day he is mild-mannered BLANDON, computer geek extraordinaire, typing 612 words per minute and able to do some really nifty things with a laptop the Pentagon is unaware of at the present time. The Geek Squad wants him as their King.
Bad.
But later at night, when all of his co-workers are kicked back with a bowl of pork rinds in front of C-SPAN, Blandon removes his beeper and key to the storage closet, musses his hair, shimmies into black tights and a real cool ninja outfit and becomes BRANDMAN–righter of wrongs and keeper of the peace.
Brandman is no everyday superhero, either. He is part Gamer, part Weapons Specialist, and holds a plaid belt in tae kwon do. (That’s eight steps above black you know, and only ninja super heroes can get it.) This means he is proficient to whoop bad guy ass with a brick, a glock, or his left pinkie toe.
Brother-in-law has skills.
Sister Mouse has no idea her husband is a superhero. I think she wondered about the tights, but Brandman speaks a several languages in a multitude of dialects. When pressed for information, he simply affects an effeminate tone and sashays a bit. My sister shoves the tights right back in the laundry pile and goes about her business.
Oh he’s gooood.
Personally, I uncovered the truth through careful observation of their sons–in particular their youngest, who appears to have a few super powers himself. All will be revealed dear readers, one day all will be revealed.
Should you look out your window tonight and see the Brandman symbol lighting up the sky, (a powerful search light illuminating the shape of a cordless mouse), or encounter a minivan with tinted windows and a DIE HTML, DIE bumper sticker, take comfort. My brother-in-law is coming to save the day. I can’t show you a photo since he IS incognito, but I will say this much. He looks a lot like this guy:
Of course, that’s not always a good thing:
I’m curious…do you have any superheroes hiding out in YOUR family?
Today's Musings 