It is a proven scientific fact that some animals eat their young when they turn into mouthy adolescents. In the wild kingdom, formerly cute and cuddly baby critters turn into gollum-like creatures once the horror-mones kick in.
Not that my children are like that.
Take evil chickens for example. Yes, I know you’re probably sick of hearing about them, but with Hell’s Henhouse in my backyard it’s REALLY hard to get them off my mind. So bear with me, ok?
Evil chickens begin their days as adorable peeping fluff balls suitable for any Easter basket. (That is, if you don’t mind salmonella-bearing feces mixed among the Cadbury eggs.) But they don’t stay little and cute, oh no. They grow. They lose their cuddly appearance and turn into gangly, bad tempered, moody beasts.
Again, not referring to my children, you understand.
Worried chicken Moms try and try. They make them say “Please” and “Thank you” at the water dish. They show them how to earn a respectable living scratching for earthworms in the dirt. They teach them not to fear the inferior beings that present them with daily fresh food and water, and to assert themselves by scaring the bejeezus out of the the big one at every opportunity.
And still they rebel.
Chicken-Moms worry. Oh yes they do! They worry their lessons will go unheeded and their baby peepers might become chicken gangstas. What if they get a little older and stay out all night or grow weed(s) out back of the garage? In every neighborhood, there’s always a few bad eggs–please don’t let them be mine! And that’s why we……er……they fret so much.
This could be the outcome.
Did you ASK me first before writing a post about my kids??? Hmmmm???
🙂
I’m sorry, Elena, but I’m afraid you’re confusing my progeny with your own. I’d offer to trade, but I’m afraid you would’t want them. 😛
“Horror-mones” oh man that is soooo true! I can’t wait to refer to my kids as chicken gangstas, their reaction will probably be one to film.
That’s why they have YouTube, Kween! 🙂
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