Something is amiss.

My Mommy-Senses are tingling. Something is up with my children, and it’s quite possibly no good. My oldest (Tasha-13) is doing everything her little sister (Emma-9) is telling her to do. Everything.
To wit: This morning, Tasha was up to her elbows in dishwater. Emma had just finished sweeping the living room carpet. She batted her [...]

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Some days it just doesn’t pay to chew through the leather straps. Some weeks, actually.

Take this one, for example. I’ve tried repeatedly to throw money at Adobe for some very expensive software. They either don’t like money, or they just don’t like MY money, because I’m having an awful time. If you care to read that saga, go right ahead.
After numerous phone calls, I finally had part of what I [...]

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Screaming Beasties in the Night

Ahhhh Spring. The blooming flowers, the budding trees, the screams of raccoons getting lucky…
Not many sounds in nature are as painful to listen to (or experience, I’m sure) as the noise of raccoons mating. <Those who’ve lived in the country all nod their heads.> for those of you who haven’t, allow me to explain.
Raccoons SCREAM. They don’t [...]

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The evil peepers hatch yet another plot

The evil chickens are still residing in our backyard. They’ve shed their fluffball disguises and grown into half feathered, half alligator skin Gollum-like creatures with beaks. They killed off 3 of their own before we put marbles in their pen. It seems they like shiny things, and are willing to commit poultrycide to get them.
My [...]

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Betty Crocker I am NOT.

I’ll preface this by saying I’m spoiled. I know I’m spoiled, I LIKE being spoiled, and I don’t intend to alter the spoiled status anytime soon. I don’t own Gucci or drive an expensive car–it’s much better than that.
I married a man who cooks. (This is a good thing, because in the land of Spaghettios, I am [...]

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Always gather your wits about you. (Or at least your robe.)

Every so often I feel the need to perfectly humiliate m’self. And you, cherished reader, get the benefit. I’m too tired to blog tonight, so I’m cheating with this true story from a few years back. At the time, we owned 5 semi trucks. <Fade to black…>
—————
Picture this.  It’s 3am. There’s a pleasant rain falling, all [...]

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I believe my brain has reached critical mass

It’s been an intensely busy month. I know this to be true because my wrists are sore, several piles have disappeared from my desk and I find myself short-circuiting on a regular basis.
Mom, I can’t find my white sweatshirt. Did you wash it?  No idea, check the resolution. Check where?  The dryer–check the dryer. If it’s [...]

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Dreaming Big Dreams

Actually, ‘Dreaming Weird Dreams’ might be a more appropriate title.
My brain does weird-ass things when I’m asleep. I don’t know where these jumbled thoughts come from, or why on earth I put them together the way that I do. Like last night, for example.
WARNING: You are about to embark upon a trip through my [...]

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Tom Petty and the Horse

…While I play catch-up, please forgive the occasional oldie but goodie from my personal archives…Once upon a time, when my Emma was 5 or 6, we encountered Tom Petty and the Horse .
Today Ems and I were in the car, listening to a Tom Petty CD. The first two lines of his song The Last DJ played, “Well [...]

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At least the girl’s honest.

I’ve been feeling claustrophobic lately. It seems like there are piles of things on every available surface in our home. Cupboards are stacked high with objects buried in the back. I have to move things to move things to get to the thing I want to move. And then put it all back.
It’s driving me [...]

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National Put-Your-Pants-On-Backward Day

Hear ye, hear ye! By the power vested in me by no one in particular, I declare today National Put-Your-Pants-On-Backward Day! I awoke this morning to discover the long johns I was wearing were on the wrong way. This may not seem like something to be concerned about, but since they were my husband’s long [...]

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Back in the Saddle Again (or at least dragging behind it, hanging on for dear life)

Hidey Ho, People! Gosh I’ve missed you!   Thank you to everyone who sent condolences and well wishes for the passing of my stepsister. It was very kind. If you can spare a prayer for my stepdad (Tim) I’d appreciate it. This has been very hard on him.
Now on to other subjects…
The past week I’ve [...]

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We interrupt out regularly scheduled program

…to bring news of a death in the family. I’ll be taking a blogging break for a few days.

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…And then we have one juuuuuust for Colby.

Oh Colby-dear, aren’t these the Creepy Hairless Freaks easy to care for kitties you enjoy?

more cat pictures

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This kid cracks me up!

My daughter just walked up to me and said, “I know what you’re more scared of than anything else in the world.” 

 
A  POULTRYGEIST!

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It never happened. No really, it’s a figment of my imagination.

I’ve promised not to embarrass my kids or my spouse too awful much on the internet.  I try to stick to that credo, because someday my children may pick out my nursing home and I like to get laid on occasion. That said, IF I had a child with a raging case of diarrhea, I [...]

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Just one more and then I’m done.

Yesterday we moved Satan’s Poultry to their permanent home – a former playhouse that our kids have outgrown now serves at their Evil Lair. Complete with nesting boxes (aka: incubators for unholy clones) and more insulation than we have on our house, (the better to keep the evil minions warm. It’s very, very hot in Hell you know), [...]

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Movie Theater Madness

I got dragged to the movie theater by my family last night. They took me to see yet another comic-book-come-to-life called Iron Man. I never much liked comics, and I’ve grumbled my way through my husband’s endless rentals of The Hulk, Daredevil, Hellboy, the Spiderman trilogy and more Batman movies than I can count. With all that griping, [...]

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My Dirty Old Man Saga

Alone, I pulled into the parking lot of a store today, right beside an empty car. As I sat there gathering my things, an older gentleman walked out of the store toward my car. He raised up one hand and started waving. Do I know this guy? I don’t know this guy. I looked over [...]

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